Hi, folks, this is Larry King ...

Why does Friday always seem like the end of the work week? ... I'll tell ya, it's a darn good thing I don't run on gasoline ... Boy, that Dolly Parton still has some big breasts ... If you're asking me, Joe Torre is doing a masterful job with the Los Angeles Dodgers. In fact, the only way he could do any better would be to bring those bums back to Brooklyn! ... Could I get some cracked pepper for my salad ... While I was being driven around the other day, we nearly plowed into a cement truck chute just laying there in the middle of the road! What has this world come to? ... Professional wrestling. I gotta call bullshit on that one ...

Hi, folks, this is Larry King ...

I don't care what the pundits say, Dennis Kucinich will be the next president of these United States ... Is it just me or are Arby's roast beef sandwiches getting smaller? ... Have you seen this ultimate fighting? I watched a little last night after my wife Shawn and I did the nasty ... It pits two guys in a big fenced-in circle. At one point, the combatants were told to go to their corners. They looked at the referee like he had two heads. And not because of too many punches to the noggin, but because they were in a circle. No corners! ... Speaking of corners, I sure do miss Jack Klugman ... Is he dead? I know he had the cancer, but geeez ... What's the big deal about the Pope's visit anyway? He's just the Lord's earthly imposter. That can't be good ... Will rising fuel costs cripple Nascar? I doubt it ... Funny how my hair still grows ... K. Swiss. They're the shoes for me ...